We write a lot about networking events here on WFTB, for the obvious reason that they play a major role in meeting clients and finding resources. These events are not strictly business-oriented, and people attend for various reasons. While it is a great way to socialize and make some real connections, it doesn’t always work out that way. I’ve had this article sitting in draft mode for awhile now, and after reading Chris Brogan’s “Stop Humping My Leg” post on his blog yesterday, I finally decided to publish it. I have met many people I like at these events and whom I would consider real friends, but as Chris mentions in his article, simply: “if you hump my leg, you risk screwing yourself.”
One of the benefits of Social Media is that it can accelerate trust, friendships and client interactions, based on the amount of information you can find about people and their companies on Social Media sites. This usually works to each person’s advantage, but once and awhile, just like in real life, it is one-sided. Like Chris mentions in his article, it is about building relationships, and that is not as simple as just knowing about the other person from their online presence.
Social Networking events such as the CT TweetCrawls are a good way to meet people, and I have been both promoting and reviewing them on WFTB. My own social media guidelines allow anyone to become a LinkedIn Connection, but don’t assume I am going to let you be a Facebook friend. Notice that LinkedIn calls people “connections,” which is not a big commitment in my view, while Facebook uses the word “friend.” This may be the crux of the problem and may just be a word to most people, but to me it means something. I use Facebook to communicate with the people that I know and have usually met in person.
When you do meet in person (and if you have been following somebody on Twitter and they followed you back), don’t assume that they are your best friend. Just like in any social setting introduce yourself in a respectful manner and let the person know that you are a follower, then start a conversation. Even if you have had a conversation online don’t assume the other person remembers it. There is nothing more annoying than somebody assuming that you know all about them, too, especially if they use an alias.
The way you post information about yourself may also be exacerbating the problem, if your posts are too personal you may want to rein them in. Using your real name as your nickname can also be an issue, but it is up to you to create your online identity and presence. I have multiple Twitter accounts for exactly this reason, and for me that strategy has worked well.
A lot of people are using Social Media resources in different ways to promote products, services and themselves, so your views may not agree with the other person. If you consider someone a spammer, for instance, you should not feel guilty about unfollowing or unfriending them; but, you can also use filters to hide their posts as a compromise. We are all learning the rules as we go (and the problem is there are really no set ones), so for now I would suggest be patient and understanding, but don’t allow people to be abusive. Just like in real life, we have to interact with people that we don’t exactly get along with – you should use the same techniques with Social Media. Just remember to bring your Miss MS Manner’s book and we should all get along.
WFTB – Michael Lawson